Some programmer humor for you...- Todd
It seems the author clearly has too much time on his/her hands.
The Evolution of a Programmer -----------------------------
High School/Jr.High ===================
# 10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD" # 20 END
First year in College ===================== # program Hello(input, output) # begin # writeln('Hello World') # end.
Senior year in College ====================== # (defun hello # (print # (cons 'Hello (list 'World))))
New professional ================ # #include <stdio.h # void main(void) # { # char *message[] = {"Hello ", "World"}; # int i; # # for(i = 0; i < 2; ++i) # printf("%s", message[i]); # printf("\n"); # }
Seasoned professional ===================== # #include <iostream.h # #include <string.h # # class string # { # private: # int size; # char *ptr; # # public: # string() : size(0), ptr(new char('\0')) {} # # string(const string &s) : size(s.size) # { # ptr = new char[size + 1]; # strcpy(ptr, s.ptr); # } # # ~string() # { # delete [] ptr; # } # # friend ostream &operator <<(ostream &, const string &); # string &operator=(const char *); # }; # # ostream &operator<<(ostream &stream, const string &s) # { # return(stream << s.ptr); # } # # string &string::operator=(const char *chrs) # { # if (this != &chrs) # { # delete [] ptr; # size = strlen(chrs); # ptr = new char[size + 1]; # strcpy(ptr, chrs); # } # return(*this); # } # # int main() # { # string str; # # str = "Hello World"; # cout << str << endl; # # return(0); # }
Master Programmer ================= # [ # uuid(2573F8F4-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820) # ] # library LHello # { # // bring in the master library # importlib("actimp.tlb"); # importlib("actexp.tlb"); # # // bring in my interfaces # #include "pshlo.idl" # # [ # uuid(2573F8F5-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820) # ] # cotype THello # { # interface IHello; # interface IPersistFile; # }; # }; # # [ # exe, # uuid(2573F890-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820) # ] # module CHelloLib # { # # // some code related header files # importheader(<windows.h); # importheader(<ole2.h); # importheader(<except.hxx); # importheader("pshlo.h"); # importheader("shlo.hxx"); # importheader("mycls.hxx"); # # // needed typelibs # importlib("actimp.tlb"); # importlib("actexp.tlb"); # importlib("thlo.tlb"); # # [ # uuid(2573F891-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820), # aggregatable # ] # coclass CHello # { # cotype THello; # }; # }; # # # #include "ipfix.hxx" # # extern HANDLE hEvent; # # class CHello : public CHelloBase # { # public: # IPFIX(CLSID_CHello); # # CHello(IUnknown *pUnk); # ~CHello(); # # HRESULT __stdcall PrintSz(LPWSTR pwszString); # # private: # static int cObjRef; # }; # # # #include <windows.h # #include <ole2.h # #include <stdio.h # #include <stdlib.h # #include "thlo.h" # #include "pshlo.h" # #include "shlo.hxx" # #include "mycls.hxx" # # int CHello::cObjRef = 0; # # CHello::CHello(IUnknown *pUnk) : CHelloBase(pUnk) # { # cObjRef++; # return; # } # # HRESULT __stdcall CHello::PrintSz(LPWSTR pwszString) # { # printf("%ws\n", pwszString); # return(ResultFromScode(S_OK)); # } # # # CHello::~CHello(void) # { # # // when the object count goes to zero, stop the server # cObjRef--; # if( cObjRef == 0 ) # PulseEvent(hEvent); # # return; # } # # #include <windows.h # #include <ole2.h # #include "pshlo.h" # #include "shlo.hxx" # #include "mycls.hxx" # # HANDLE hEvent; # # int _cdecl main( # int argc, # char * argv[] # ) { # ULONG ulRef; # DWORD dwRegistration; # CHelloCF *pCF = new CHelloCF(); # # hEvent = CreateEvent(NULL, FALSE, FALSE, NULL); # # // Initialize the OLE libraries # CoInitializeEx(NULL, COINIT_MULTITHREADED); # # CoRegisterClassObject(CLSID_CHello, pCF, CLSCTX_LOCAL_SERVER, # REGCLS_MULTIPLEUSE, &dwRegistration); # # // wait on an event to stop # WaitForSingleObject(hEvent, INFINITE); # # // revoke and release the class object # CoRevokeClassObject(dwRegistration); # ulRef = pCF-Release(); # # // Tell OLE we are going away. # CoUninitialize(); # # return(0); # } # # extern CLSID CLSID_CHello; # extern UUID LIBID_CHelloLib; # # CLSID CLSID_CHello = { /* 2573F891-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820 */ # 0x2573F891, # 0xCFEE, # 0x101A, # { 0x9A, 0x9F, 0x00, 0xAA, 0x00, 0x34, 0x28, 0x20 } # }; # # UUID LIBID_CHelloLib = { /* 2573F890-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820 */ # 0x2573F890, # 0xCFEE, # 0x101A, # { 0x9A, 0x9F, 0x00, 0xAA, 0x00, 0x34, 0x28, 0x20 } # }; # # #include <windows.h # #include <ole2.h # #include <stdlib.h # #include <string.h # #include <stdio.h # #include "pshlo.h" # #include "shlo.hxx" # #include "clsid.h" # # int _cdecl main( # int argc, # char * argv[] # ) { # HRESULT hRslt; # IHello *pHello; # ULONG ulCnt; # IMoniker * pmk; # WCHAR wcsT[_MAX_PATH]; # WCHAR wcsPath[2 * _MAX_PATH]; # # // get object path # wcsPath[0] = '\0'; # wcsT[0] = '\0'; # if( argc 1) { # mbstowcs(wcsPath, argv[1], strlen(argv[1]) + 1); # wcsupr(wcsPath); # } # else { # fprintf(stderr, "Object path must be specified\n"); # return(1); # } # # // get print string # if(argc 2) # mbstowcs(wcsT, argv[2], strlen(argv[2]) + 1); # else # wcscpy(wcsT, L"Hello World"); # # printf("Linking to object %ws\n", wcsPath); # printf("Text String %ws\n", wcsT); # # // Initialize the OLE libraries # hRslt = CoInitializeEx(NULL, COINIT_MULTITHREADED); # # if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt)) { # # # hRslt = CreateFileMoniker(wcsPath, &pmk); # if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt)) # hRslt = BindMoniker(pmk, 0, IID_IHello, (void **)&pHello); # # if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt)) { # # // print a string out # pHello-PrintSz(wcsT); # # Sleep(2000); # ulCnt = pHello-Release(); # } # else # printf("Failure to connect, status: %lx", hRslt); # # // Tell OLE we are going away. # CoUninitialize(); # } # # return(0); # }
Apprentice Hacker =================== # #!/usr/local/bin/perl # $msg="Hello, world.\n"; # if ($#ARGV = 0) { # while(defined($arg=shift(@ARGV))) { # $outfilename = $arg; # open(FILE, "" . $outfilename) || die "Can't write $arg: $!\n"; # print (FILE $msg); # close(FILE) || die "Can't close $arg: $!\n"; # } # } else { # print ($msg); # } # 1;
Experienced Hacker =================== # #include <stdio.h # #define S "Hello, World\n" # main(){exit(printf(S) == strlen(S) ? 0 : 1);}
Seasoned Hacker ================ # % cc -o a.out ~/src/misc/hw/hw.c # % a.out
Guru Hacker ============ # % cat # Hello, world. # ^D
New Manager ============ # 10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD" # 20 END
Middle Manager =============== # mail -s "Hello, world." bob@b12 # Bob, could you please write me a program that prints "Hello, world."? # I need it by tomorrow. # ^D
Senior Manager =============== # % zmail jim # I need a "Hello, world." program by this afternoon.
Chief Executive ================= # % letter # letter: Command not found. # % mail # To: ^X ^F ^C # % help mail # help: Command not found. # % damn! # !: Event unrecognized # % logout
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ - T o d d E. V a n H o o s e a r - ``'''vanhoose@lalaland.cl.msu.edu - vanhoose@msu.edu - vanhoose@lalaland.cl.msu.edu (._.) Michigan State University - East Lansing, MI USA (_) Computer Laboratory - Department of Communication `---' <A HREF="http://lalaland.cl.msu.edu/~vanhoose/">My Home Page</A> PGP-aware: finger vanhoose@lalaland.cl.msu.edu for my public key ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~